Cursed Mario Products

The fact that they didn't call the cereal "MariO's" is infuriating

I feel like this series is slowly going to become polygon's agenda

As someone who grew up with a ton of this stuff, I can honestly say the Mario Mac and Cheese slapped. I think they had a Ninja Turtles one too. The fruit snacks were good too. The characters are all from Mario Bros 2.

Reminds me of all the Mario themed pinatas, party supplies, brinca brincas, and ceramic piggy banks made by the local vendors every time I visited Mexico. The ceramic Mario always looked a little off but it adds a certain level of charm and nostalgia for me. 😊

The voice activated Mario Telephone is by far the most interesting and dynamic piece of technology. Once again Charles Martinet knocks it out of the park. Also Super Mario Galaxy is my favorite Mario game, as well as my first video game ever.

Ain't no way I'm letting that mario shower bottle thing stare at while I'm showering 💀

Finding your channel is something I will never regret.

Dude sounds like he’s on the verge of hysterical laughter throughout the entire video

Your genuine enthusiasm in your videos is always really heartwarming. Keep up the good work

14:49
Now i want to go to Australia with a speaker just to prank people

As an Australian i can confirm that Koala Mario is always waiting for me in the shadows

As someone who has seen the koala Mario multiple times, it is as intimidating as it looks. It threatens to eat your family if you don't donate

This is truly one of the Mario videos of all time

As an Australian-born Australian I can confirm the Koala Mario theory

The gummy box pulling "oddly specific" characters uses box art from Super Mario Bros 2 (the weird one with shy guys and turnip throwing). All of those characters were featured in that game. So I'm thinking it was a promotional thing released alongside SMB2.
Edit now that I've watched through:
Favorite game: Mario Party DS is a super fun and often overlooked game whose singleplayer campaign has gotten me through two separate longer-term power outages.
Favorite product: I had an LED light of one of Racoon Mario's sprites. Loved it since SMB3 on the GBA was my first game. Unfortunately during college moving I forgot I'd left batteries in it so it's a bit corroded now. :/

still can't believe they made a whole franchise based off of chris pratt

The progression from cube shaped mugs to a mug that can kill you to a warp pipe mug that is actually a mug is insane!

You can really tell right away when companies have absolutely no idea how a character exactly looks like based on their looks shapes and colors

I had so many Mario toys, games, and items back when I was a kid. It's good to see that some of them were featured in the video. If one of those items appeared on screen I said to myself "Hey, I had that!". Well done with the video man. I hope you talk about transparent technology next!

Every time he makes one of these videos I just like to imagine some Mario fanatic who somehow owns all of these products and how they might decorate their house with all of them.

Being able to call burger king by asking Mario is something I would never get in my life even if I wanted it

Polygon please PLEASE keep using Nene's 144p mp4 of her saying "Yayy" it brings JOY to me seeing that little goofy goober say her iconic line!

What's just as cursed is the amount of cursed toys there is

Wait, the koala Mario is real? All this time, I thought it was some sort of bootleg or something.

excited for the next cursed products video where polygon donut rates the most concerning items known to man

mario is truly one of the characters of all time

imagine mario, before he got thrusted into the mushroom kingdom, walking into a customer's house to fix their sink or something, and then he sees that the customer's house is filled with cursed mario merch

Man seeing those toys really reminds me of how creative kids meal toys were

I actually ate that cereal before! I visited my local Target and I barely saw them there. As I ate the cereal, I thought to myself, "So this is what it's like to be a kid and eat cereal in the 80's, I guess." I used to love sugary cereals from a daycare center I was always dropped off at as a kid and I just had to get one of the Mario cereals before they were no longer sold.

Loved when Mario said “it’s marioing time” and mario’d all over the place. Truly one of the moments of all time.

the old mcdonald's mario ball brought back so much nostalgia because it was passed down from family dog to family dog like an heirloom for them to play with.

Honestly, this videos are some of the on youtube that just brighten up my day when watching them, just the pure love for what is going on really warms my heart. Keep up the good work!

Is it bad that I laughed the whole video at his friggin hilarious humor and not the products? 🤣💀

12:20 Fun Fact: these used to play sounds if you pressed either of their noses or emblems. It was most likely 1-1 that it played, but I somewhat remember a voiceline? It gets worse when you break the voicebox and it just spazzes out when you try to press it

Love how much fun u seem to be having doing these videos man!

These cursed products videos are how I cope with how cursed life is. 12/10

On "Wake up: it's time to leave dream land!": The sound of Mario's voice was not defined as the high pitched squeaky thing we know today until Mario 64 in 1996. If you look at the Mario cartoons that were made at the time that alarm clock was released, that voice was the voice of Mario at the time. He was an Italian-American plumber from Brooklyn. Also, "dream land" is probably a reference to Kirby's Dream Land.

we all can agree that his voice never gets old

I just found your channel and I gotta say, everything about your videos just scratches my brain in the best way possible.❤

Merchandise for Mario- and everything else- has become so watered down and safe over the years. Nobody makes things like the Spaghetti-os or shampoo anymore.

As an Australian, I can clarify that Koala Mario's are real.

My entire immune system when I stub my toe: 13:30

So glad I found this channel, I’m addicted. It sounds like you’re smiling when you talk and you’re so energetic, I always cheer up when I stick one of your vids on. I also started saying scrunkly (sp?) about cute things.
Also, with your blindbags, you might just be right with your scam idea cause sometimes you can tell the content of a blind bag (by feel or by the barcode) so the seller might have picked out the whole set and sold off the doubles. Guessing boo was a common.

watching these videos feels like being a frog being cooked by my slowly warming pool of water

Ah, yes. A wonderful day for cursed Mario items.

Y'know, the Mario Ball can only make you to remember a certain memory back when you're 12 and a boy throws an Italian plumber between your legs inside a bouncy castle during some kid's party as your doing nothing, but crying in a corner...

Being a Nintendo kid, the fact I actually had some of these products was a nostalgia hit everytime they were mentioned-

14:39 as an Australian, I can confirm I have lost my family to the Mario koala

Fun Fact: Dreamland is the main place in Super Mario Bros 2 in the american version. It's because mario wakes up from the dream after defeating Wart. So it's considered as a "DreamLand".

The Mario koala is very cursed, and I love taking pictures with it to send to my online friends since I'm close by to it.
Also, the way you pronounced Coolangatta, I died on the inside it was so bad I got caught off guard.

Such an amazing UAclips channel, a while back I would watch the videos you would make about your discord server, those were my fav and some of the best editing I could see at the time. I remember when you had less than 60k, and it’s amazing to see your editing style, voice, and personality on camera change. You’ve gotten so far and your channel has grown so much. Although you probably won’t see this, I just hope you become famous one day! 💖

These are definitely some of the Mario's of all time

Another fun and wacky video! I would love if you covered cursed kirby products because he's so skunkly! 😀

About the koalas, that's actually really neat! Here in Minnesota we have a similar thing but with seals that are less character themed and more painted.

Keep up the cursed product videos I love these!

If they just gave a regular koala statue a mario hat and mustache and maybe some overalls, it actually would've been really cute.

No matter how powerful bowser is there is nothing more terrifying than that child.

This series is the highlight of my year ❤

Despite how cursed they are, we all can't help but love them
Also, I actually have the mario kart 64 telephone. It was a birthday gift from my cousin years ago

I love your videos, they’re just too fun with they way you edit them and all the different items you find. I can’t wait for the next cursed products! I hope the next ones are gonna be Pikachu or Kirby products

I collected a lot of the candy tins and I have quite a few, including a cool 8-bit Link one I found about a year ago. The candy inside is pretty good. The best ones are the Bullet Bill candy and the Link candy.

I feel like I can find a majority of the products you show in these videos at a Goodwill.
I need that Mushroom Waffle Maker!

My college town had several sculptures shaped like Garfield and painted as different themes. I really wish one had been Mario like the koala.

Thanks for lifting my mood through tough times.

I like to use the mugs for other uses like eating cereal and soup out of, I also love to use them to store pencils and stuff in them. Those mugs look really cool. ❤

for the super mario cereal, it took me a while to notice but I think the red marshmallow is supposed to be Mario’s hat. it seemed a bit funky at first but as i looked at it more I realized that shape makes a bit more sense over a super mushroom

I had the honor to stand face to face with the mario koala at surfers paradise, truly a great experience

I loved seeing the sus luigi toy in the lineup! We have him on the desk at work, I love looking at his odd expression whenever I'm there

13:44 Those are based on the animated series, so they won't look like the original, but for the series, they are very accurate.
And Luigi at 5:51 is based on the old animated movie.

I swear I remember having this Luigi plush where the mustache was taken off or something?? And he just looked really really weird lmao

It would have never happened to me but i can only imagine some kid wanting a GameCube all those years ago and getting a candy container instead😂

2:31 Never heard of the candies before, but jut by looking at the packaging and characters it's from Mario 2, which was btw just a retexture of another game which changes the playable characters and barely anything else.

13:31 Anybody else notice that when he said "Warp Pipe Mug" it matched perfectly with the pipe sound

11:57 Increrible how the bath sponge turned out to be a way better plushie than any of the others you listed LMAO

The Sailor Moon koala statue looks actually good, why didn’t they do something like that with Mario? Lol

5:45
*_"Giant Mario and Luigi Balls"_*
_-Polygon Donut, 2023_

I love your general attitude in those videos it is so warm, comforting and silly it's great!

I love the mario kart hotwheels. They just fit so well. I feel like nintendo have been taking big steps in partnerships lately.

Good news Pongon! The Mario Movie was indeed a banger, I went to go see it 2 days ago

8:20 It really shows how enamored Polygon with the Mario products that he used the iconic low-quality Nene "yay" twice.
9:22 Kind of a shame that these ones aren't gonna appear in the Hot Wheels Unleashed game.
16:55 Imagine having a kid who became a fan because of the movie and you give this as a gift to them. The voice wouldn't throw them off that much compared to Chris' Mario voice.

As an Australian I can confirm that the Mario Koala (YahooBear) are very much a nusiance

Fun fact: The mario and luigi slippers at 12:17 play music! I own a pair and god is it horrifying (especially when the batteries were dying)

It's fascinating how Mario didn't get copyright striked everytime he screamed "YAHOO!" .

I have no clue where this channel is going but I AM COMPLETELY ON BOARD WITH IT!

Do y'all remember when McDonald's did their own Mario Kart Happy Meals, or when Hotwheels did that Mario color themed van with the Mario logo?!

The shower curtain actually cool tho. Putting that on my list of wacky things to buy and put in my house. Along things like the cardboard cutout of a skyrim guard.

Besides the Shasta Marion soda The greatest Mario candy I have ever had is a brand called snerdles and it comes in a plastic question block it was these square gummi sheets that had pictures of fire flowers stars and mushrooms pixelated out of nerds type candy..it was really good

2:36 They are all from Super Mario Bros 2 and at that time probably didn't know that shy guy would become a staple character while the others pretty much disappeared.

These things bring back so many memories. Especially the mario slider puzzle can. I actually still own mine and had no idea they were rare.
I got the white one after my grandmother gave it to me. She must've had it stored away for years.

I had the fast food toy at 4:14 (I believe it was from Wendy's). It's worse than you think; the wheel itself doesn't turn and just slides left/right along that track. You have to wind up the green knob on the right, which will cause the track to scroll and loop when released.

The fact that a child ate Bowser in the mac & cheese and the bowl and just slurped it up with his tongue is really cursed

Why doesn’t a Mario aesthetic exist yet like seriously

Pokémon/Zelda would be a great sequel.
There’s definitely a lot of bootlegs and memorabilia of those games.
Ps. I remember the 3Dees gummies.
I had a whole bunch of video game tins and kinda sad that I don’t own the gamecube one.

I've been waiting for this all week thank you! I was so excited when Izzyxzzz shouted you out in their cursed MLP products video we've all been waiting for this lmfao

How do you edit these?! Your editing is immaculate!!!!!

I like how he gets more excited as the video goes on

I don't have much to say but I look forward to the Mario movie. I hope that it's just a fun movie and doesn't need to be anything deep or ground breaking just fun and enjoyable.
Also my favourite Mario game is Super Mario Sunshine. :3

My favorite toy as a kid was actually that Mario ball 😂😂

I already know people have told you were the characters originated from already so I'm going to say something more unique, I actually have a misprinted version of the large collection of Mario hotwheels you showed, its nothing big all it was is they mislabeled one of the characters karts calling it another, but im hoping it could at least become relatively valuable in the future, not going to sell it tho i want bragging rights lol.

Seeing polygon donut upload just makes my day much better